Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
