so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
