News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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