rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
