Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
