We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
