He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize