You made me cry and you don't even care
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
