No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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