11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize