doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
