Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
