I hate all girls vehemently.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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