I wish I could punch you in the face.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
