You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
