were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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