that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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