those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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