***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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