I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize