yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
