two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
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I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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