I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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