i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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