I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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