I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize