Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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