She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
