I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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