You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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