If i come over, it means nothing
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
