Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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