took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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