Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
