I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
