It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
