Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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