We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
