Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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