Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
