Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
