Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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