ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
