i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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