So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
