VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
