I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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