The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He did a backflip because drugs
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