Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
