: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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