You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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