And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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