I wannas sexs uuuuu
just come out here and I will go home with you...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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