There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
