why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
