I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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