Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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