addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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