I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
