i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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